Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
