the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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