Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
