Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
drinking out of a sandbucket again
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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