Soap is not a condiment
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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