my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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