you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
