By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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