when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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