I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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