it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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