M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't think brook has ever known best
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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