I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
