I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
