Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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