It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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