When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
