so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
