I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
