I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
