the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize