She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
