Don't you send me to vm
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
