You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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