Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
