on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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