It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I touched a dick in church today
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
