I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
