It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
