I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
