I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you win again, gameday.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
