idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
