Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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