Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
