If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
