i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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