I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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