The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
