Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
40s are totally the cure
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
