So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
