and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
