she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
