The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
