brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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