Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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