i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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