dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
