im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
