I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
