His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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