If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
