He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
